Saga of a Deaf Man

Some many years ago, more than I care to even consider have passed, I was working in a furniture store. It was a very large warehouse with tall ceilings, lots of furniture and a noisy HVAC system.

An extremely attractive woman walked in the store, and though several of the sales team attempted to accost her, I did not. I simply let her browse the store, staying within ear and eyeshot away so that when she had a question, I'd be right there. I noticed that she almost teasingly kept looking at me out of the corner of her eye. As she roamed the store, she sat down on several pieces of furniture. Each time looking around to see if anyone, especially me I think was watching. She was wearing a very tight fitting stretch mini-skirt that even while standing hardly covered everything. And when she sat down, there in plain view was V-nice. She did this several times. Each time giving me a show. Now more than teasingly, it was temptingly. Well being the professional I am, I just smiled and watched as she went from couch to chair to love seat to hassock. Each and every time positioning herself provocatively, making sure I was watching.

Finally, having difficulty in watching her much longer, I went over to her and asked if I could help her find something. With that the HVAC system kicked on at the same time she was saying "I Want to F*CK you! I must have had a puzzled look on my face because she said it again. This time grabbing my arm. Each time I was barely able to hear her so I read her lips. The wise thing to do for a deaf man. Well this last time, she actually grabbed the lapels of my jacket and said it again without turning her head and staring directly into my eyes. This time I caught the entire sentence by lip reading and smiled at her and as the HVAC system quietly shut down, I said "I'm sorry but we don't have any Futons".

Well now the woman had the puzzled look on her face and then said, "you don't know what you're missing either!" And stormed out of the store.

My boss came over to me and asked what I said to make the woman leave so abruptly. And I replied, "We don't have any Futons" and suggested that he maybe should order some in. With that, he began to laugh hysterically. I couldn't figure out why. And then he told me what she had actually said.

I was flabbergasted! to say the least. The moral of the story is that the woman had no morals if all she wanted to do was have sex with me on a Futon!

(c)10/28/09 JJ Willams